New day.. Old me?

Did you, like me, buy a brand new book, a brand new pen with a shiny tip just when you had to begin studying for school exams? For me, it was an event. I would go to a stationary shop, hold my nose high so the shopkeeper knows he is to take me seriously and stand pondering what to buy- which pen would get me more marks- which book would ensure that I write more, learn more and sleep less; which color marker would help me notice important words better? Pink, maybe. Purple, Yes. And like this my tiny shopping bag would fill with new stationary. Surprisingly, I would actually study harder, concentrate more with all these new things surrounding me.

Do you, like me, get so excited when you bought a few new clothes, that for quite some time you forgot your old ones completely. Little else thrills me as shopping does- there is a certain fragrance that new clothes have, a certain feel- that old clothes just don’t. Laden with shopping bags, thoughts of what I will wear when, anticipation of coming sales- I feel this little thrill. Ok, ok, if you are a man- its probably not clothes- think of that brand new car that you bought. That glisten, that glimmer, that fragrance that teased you as if saying- ‘I am new and therefore special’ and you probably know exactly what I am saying about the thrill of ‘newness’.

Have you, like me, felt shivers run down your spine at the prospect of getting to know a person, of adding that one more number on your mobile- knowing that you are going to use this number quite a lot. What a feeling it is to talk for hours and find out- favorite colour, favorite food, favorite flower. And favorite person. Shy smiles follow. Some relationships become new with each passing day- no matter how much two people know about each other they always find something new, something more to speak about- something new to discover together. And the excitement of ‘newness’ within the relationship simply refuses to fade away.

Have you, like I did, realized that life itself renews itself each day? With each morning, life begins once again. Sleep, like a mother, puts her hand over my head and weaves webs of darkness around me so I may sleep in peace- and wake up to a new day, a new life. What a waste of a new day it would be, if I am the same old! Yesterday I allowed ego to spoil a relationship, today I won’t. Yesterday, I was afraid to be the first one to do something; today I will do it with excitement. Yesterday I lost my temper on someone I loved, today, I will make it up. Yesterday I didn’t realize my potential, today I will. Yesterday I didn’t extend my arms and hug a child, today I will hug two. The old me had health problems, the new me wont. Yesterday I couldn’t, today I will. Between what I was yesterday and what I will be tomorrow lies a new day- renewed twenty four hours asking me- so, today what will you do?

What a feeling it is to wake up to a new day. The thrill of newness engulfs me every morning as I wonder what all I will do with this brand new day- the fragrance of newness tantalizing me to explore more, more, more. The beauty of life is, until it’s here, it keeps giving me a new day, again and again. A new sun, a new sky, new clouds, and to go with it a new, improved me- everyday.

What's right?

A beautiful face with radiant skin. A single acne mark. Chances are, the girl to whom the face belongs, complains about the little blemish each day instead of feeling gratitude for what is already right.

A wonderful relationship. So many beautiful memories. A single acrimonious quarrel. Perhaps you have actually considered ending the relationship for just that.

When I asked myself, some years ago, why I was so often, so miserable, the answer stunned me. I had expected some complex, deep, karmic revelation. It wasn’t. It was simple. Since childhood I had trained myself to look at what’s wrong, and not at that which was right.

If I got nine out of ten in a spellings test, instead of celebrating the nine rights, I complained about the one wrong. If I had three good friends in class, and there was one girl who didn’t like me, I focused my entire energy on that girl. I didn’t know at that time that wherever goes attention, wherever goes energy, there goes life. Little wonder, by the time I came to the tenth, I had a larger number of people who disliked me and whom I disliked than true friends!

If I did something for my health on five days of the week – and became lethargic on the last two days, I would be upset with myself for that. I would never appreciate what I was doing right, rather I would keep focusing on the wrong, not realizing the profound law of life: wherever goes attention, wherever goes energy, there goes life. Every part of my body was functioning perfectly – just a slight disorder in the right ear and instead of stopping and thanking Life for a beautiful body, I would complain and focus on the little aching part. Little wonder, my entire body had started giving way just a few months ago.

There are hundreds of books on the laws of attractions and scores of gurus who speak of only, and only, focusing on the right. And yet, it has taken a lot of time for this intellectual understanding of the law of life to become a part of my DNA. Perhaps because the training of focusing on what is wrong, began with so many of us as kids itself. In all probability when you were blissfully playing in a room full of adults, no one so much as glanced towards you, but the moment you opened your mouth wide and howled or cried, you were immediately the centre of attraction. Such experiences repeated in and out perhaps trained your subconscious, like they did to mine, to believe that if you need attention you need to be in pain, or be unhealthy, or be unhappy.

Thank God (literally!)  I now realize that life is perfect because it is and not because it fits my definition of perfect. I am able to find something to be happy about by looking for what is right, even on the worst of days. I am able to feel healthy, even if just one part of my body is not functioning to its best capacity. I am able to look for something to appreciate in almost everyone. And what abundance is unfolding into my life. My book, Thank You Cancer, is doing better than I had expected, I feel really good about myself most of the time, my classes for children is a big hit, my relationships are deepening. And I am just waiting… to watch more magic unfold. The mantra is simple, wherever I go, whoever I meet, whatever I do, I will ask myself, what’s right?