Living life Inside-Out...

We believe we will feel healthy when our health becomes okay. Conversely, I have realized, the more we feel healthy, the better our health becomes. We believe that if we find that one person to love us, we will fall in love with ourselves; conversely, I have discovered that when I love myself, the entire world around me automatically finds itself in love with me. We live life outside in – and struggle on to find peace and happiness when the answer lies inside out. Peace and happiness, after all, are not commodities available in a shop. They are the bounties of the inner world.

I realized that in all the areas of my life which were going great, I was subconsciously using this ‘inside out’ formula. A while ago I had read somewhere that feel rich to become rich. Each day, I was consciously imagining abundance and ‘feeling’ it and indeed, to my astonishment, within a few months my income had grown 100 per cent. I wasn’t following the formula in relationships. Too often I depended on Arun to make me feel ‘happy’ and ‘complete’ and if ever he failed to listen to me, or understand me, I went into Being angry.

I smiled at a thought. Life is indeed like a cosmic kitchen. We are the guests who have come here to fulfill our hunger. We are ordering dishes to make us feel a certain way. We believe if we order the wonderful spouse, or the Mercedes car, or the fame we seek, or the love of the world, we will feel happy and peaceful. When the dish arrives we do feel satiated – for a moment. But, the feeling is short lived. Either we get bored of our dish or watch someone ordering a bigger and better dish and start believing now that if only we order that dish we will become happy. Wouldn’t it be so much simpler to order the feeling you want to feel instead? And grow into it, so much so that it becomes you?  In peace, in happiness, you are bound to enjoy every dish served to you – be it small or big, sweet or salty.

 I admire some people around me for certain aspects, and on closer observation I realized, they take care of their state of being in that particular areas. I have rarely ever seen my dad in a state of depression – he is usually cheerful and jokes are always in the air when he’s around. The result? I have seen so many things just go his way – reducing the chances of him feeling low altogether. Inside out. Whenever I ask my 85 year old granddad how his health is, he shows me a thumbs up. The result? He continues to remain radiant and glowing. Even when he had a kidney problem five years ago and the doctors said he wouldn’t make it through – he bounced back, full of life, because he kept telling everybody (and more importantly, himself) that he is simply waiting to eat some of his favourite delicacies (Jalebi and pizza, if you please!). Inside out.

The more a person feels good – and makes it into a permanent state of being, the more Life presents reasons for him to feel good. Unfortunately, the opposite also is true. The more a person feels miserable and dejected – and makes it into a constant state of being, the more Life presents reasons for this to be so. Change The Being – and life undergoes a change. There is no other way.

The problem with us humans is that the state of Being is our personal responsibility and too often, we don’t want to take it. We want to feel low because of him, we want to feel angry because of her, we want to feel we never became what we could because of them. It’s too easy to pass the buck on – but I have decided, I won’t do this anymore. After all it’s my life, and I want to experience abundance flowing, nay gushing, towards me from all directions.

Another issue, I recognized was that often I didn’t strive long enough to remain in a desired state of Being. Say, for five days if I tell myself to feel positive, and on the sixth day something goes wrong with my life, I started to believe the Law is not working for me. I now realize that the Law is immaculate. The thing that went wrong on the sixth day, went wrong because of my thinking before these five days when I decided to become positive. To ensure my life is amazing – I will have to constantly strive to feel amazing within. It’s not a day’s agenda – but a lifelong striving. However, the superb news is that the longer I stay in a particular State of Being, the easier it starts becoming to be there. For so many people they don’t have to try to BE happy – happiness BECOMES them.

Megha Bajaj

megha@wonderofwords.org

www.wonderofwords.org
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What's right?

A beautiful face with radiant skin. A single acne mark. Chances are, the girl to whom the face belongs, complains about the little blemish each day instead of feeling gratitude for what is already right.

A wonderful relationship. So many beautiful memories. A single acrimonious quarrel. Perhaps you have actually considered ending the relationship for just that.

When I asked myself, some years ago, why I was so often, so miserable, the answer stunned me. I had expected some complex, deep, karmic revelation. It wasn’t. It was simple. Since childhood I had trained myself to look at what’s wrong, and not at that which was right.

If I got nine out of ten in a spellings test, instead of celebrating the nine rights, I complained about the one wrong. If I had three good friends in class, and there was one girl who didn’t like me, I focused my entire energy on that girl. I didn’t know at that time that wherever goes attention, wherever goes energy, there goes life. Little wonder, by the time I came to the tenth, I had a larger number of people who disliked me and whom I disliked than true friends!

If I did something for my health on five days of the week – and became lethargic on the last two days, I would be upset with myself for that. I would never appreciate what I was doing right, rather I would keep focusing on the wrong, not realizing the profound law of life: wherever goes attention, wherever goes energy, there goes life. Every part of my body was functioning perfectly – just a slight disorder in the right ear and instead of stopping and thanking Life for a beautiful body, I would complain and focus on the little aching part. Little wonder, my entire body had started giving way just a few months ago.

There are hundreds of books on the laws of attractions and scores of gurus who speak of only, and only, focusing on the right. And yet, it has taken a lot of time for this intellectual understanding of the law of life to become a part of my DNA. Perhaps because the training of focusing on what is wrong, began with so many of us as kids itself. In all probability when you were blissfully playing in a room full of adults, no one so much as glanced towards you, but the moment you opened your mouth wide and howled or cried, you were immediately the centre of attraction. Such experiences repeated in and out perhaps trained your subconscious, like they did to mine, to believe that if you need attention you need to be in pain, or be unhealthy, or be unhappy.

Thank God (literally!)  I now realize that life is perfect because it is and not because it fits my definition of perfect. I am able to find something to be happy about by looking for what is right, even on the worst of days. I am able to feel healthy, even if just one part of my body is not functioning to its best capacity. I am able to look for something to appreciate in almost everyone. And what abundance is unfolding into my life. My book, Thank You Cancer, is doing better than I had expected, I feel really good about myself most of the time, my classes for children is a big hit, my relationships are deepening. And I am just waiting… to watch more magic unfold. The mantra is simple, wherever I go, whoever I meet, whatever I do, I will ask myself, what’s right?

Attitude of Gratitude

The children’s class was in full swing. I had asked the ten year olds to write about one attitude that they would want to have for life. As they bent their tiny heads and pinned their flying thoughts, one at a time, I observed them. There were four of them and each represented a world in itself. Shruti, the pretty one came from a very affluent family. Raghav, was the intelligent boy wearing spectacles and a serious look. Garima was the cute, chubby girl who loved to giggle. And then, there was Dhruv. He had half a smile on his lips as he wrote. I couldn’t define him. I couldn’t label him under a type. Dhruv just was.

When he read out his paper and said, “Ma’am, I would like to develop the attitude of gratitude. Now and forever.” I asked him why. And he looked into my eyes and shared, “Because I am alive.” Taken aback, I just looked at him. He spoke softly and said, “Ma’am when I was five I had leukemia. I am now ten. And I am alive.” I couldn’t utter a word. The other kids surrounded him and began to ask him questions, but I couldn’t join in. I could just hear a few words like ‘two years treatment’, ‘blood transfusion’, ‘18 injections’, and the other kids kept gasping every now and then. Dhruv had unknowingly become a hero – but he didn’t seem to care, he just gave honest answers and shrugged his shoulders when Shruti asked him, “Can you get it again?”

When all of them left, I just sat with the little paper in my hand in which Dhruv had written, “I would like to develop the attitude of gratitude. Now and forever.” His childish handwriting seemed to contrast with the profound message that it contained.Conceptually, I liked the term gratitude, however, practically, I had two issues with it: One, I childishly believed if I was grateful, God would stop giving me more. And two, I believed that while some aspects of my life were great, there were always enough areas which were challenging and they took most of my time – so how could I be grateful?

Dhruv had shown me. The very law of life suggests that life goes wherever energies go. So the more grateful I am about something, chances are the more of it I would create in my life. Closer observation proved this to be true. Off late, I was just feeling too good about my health and often spontaneously the words would flow, “Thank you God for this feeling of absolute lightness and well being.” And the feeling was just growing. I was feeling better and better with each passing day.

Consequently for all those issues which I kept grumbling about – they indeed seemed to be growing in magnitude, I wasn’t enjoying my relationships too much and often felt like I was giving much more than I was getting. Dhruv’s words shook me and I began to focus on every little thing that my close ones were doing for me and the perspective shift led to phenomenal results. Suddenly I felt loved, cared for and protected. Magically, the more I relished the tiny gestures and expressions of love from others, the more they came my way!

Gratitude seems a bit too simple to be life transforming. And yet, it is. Thank you Dhruv, for changing my prayers. These days as I sit in meditation, I ask for one thing alone: Dear God, help me to develop the attitude of gratitude. Now and forever.